Empty Promises

Unmet expectations lead to disappointments and unspoken expectations always lead to frustrations. This is some of the best relationship advice I’ve received.

We must voice our expectations of others if we ever want them to be fulfilled.

Here’s a rub though, we have expectations of everything: how much we expect to be paid, when we expect to go to bed, or what we expect to eat for dinner. The list goes on and on…

But what if the expectation is below the surface of your own heart? What if it encompasses your vision of the good life? What you subtly believe will bring you joy and satisfaction.

When those expectations aren’t met, frustration, disappointment, and the like ensue.

Daily, we believe little lies that disappoint, and the most dangerous ones are those we don’t notice. Often, we have expectations of what will bring satisfaction, that we’re unaware of. They live just below our consciousness. They exist in our muscles but haven’t made it to our minds.

Unless we name these false expectations of the way things should be, in other words, lies, we will continue to live in a foggy haze of disappointment and regret.

The tricky thing is this: we don’t live in a neutral world, but in a world at war. Forces everywhere are striving to indoctrinate you into their vision of the good life, usually so they can sell you something. I don’t say this in a conspiracy theory way. I mean that companies constantly feed you stories about what will bring satisfaction. And that satisfaction according to them, is always right behind a purchase of their good or service.

If we are not aware, these promotions, will influence our expectations, even without our realizing it.

And without naming these lies, we are prone to the cycle of disappointment that naturally ensues when the promises aren’t met.

Let’s name an expectation (or lie) the world pushes on us daily…

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I recently received a letter in the mail. Which side note, it’s so refreshing to receive a piece or mail that isn’t a bill or promotion. Enclosed was a birthday card (shoutout KLIFE HQ).

The Amazon gift card caught my eye immediately.

Instant happiness inside. Really? Instant?

Was happiness really comprised of what was inside this little cardboard container?

The crazy thing is, it’s promise is sort of true. Some happiness is contained in the acquisition of things. But that’s not the subtly story Amazon is telling…

True, I felt a surge of excitement, a small little satisfaction. A small flicker of happiness. But what were they really saying?

Their claim is this: On Amazon is everything you need for a fulfilling life, now. This little gift card is an entry ticket, an access point into their vision of the good life. One click away.

On Amazon (inside) is everything you need for a fulfilling life (happiness), now (instant).

Instant happiness inside. We may never verbalize that we are trusting Amazon to bring satisfaction to our deepest longings. This expectation possibly has never made it to our prefrontal cortex. It lives in our feelings and urges. But it influences the way we live.

But many of us believe this little lie everyday. We expect the things of this world to bring satisfaction, like right now. We expect to find the good life just around the next corner. And I’m not just talking about Amazon.

Instant?

We want things instantaneously. DoorDash and microwaved food. On-demand shows. Live news and sports at our fingertips. Free next day delivery.

We want the fruit without the toil of the soil. The successful marriage without the years of self-sacrificial love it takes. We want the resurrection without the cross. Eternal life without the prerequisite death. We desire the glory without the shame. The victory without the discipline.

But all of the most fulfilling things in this life come slowly and with effort. Healthy marriages. Deep friendships. Raising kids. Planting a garden. Getting in shape. Writing a book. Investing in people. All these take considerable effort and take time.

Faithfulness, fruitfulness, and fulfillment all are measured in decades, not days, weeks, or years.

One of the most consistent themes throughout Scripture is waiting.

• God’s people spent 400 years waiting in slavery for deliverance.

• Moses wandered in the wilderness for forty years before delivering them.

• Then they wandered forty more years in the wilderness before entering the Promised land.

• David waited as a shepherd and on the run for years before becoming king.

• Israel waited in Exile for 70 years before return to the promised land.

• Then they waited 400 years in silence before the promised Messiah.

• Jesus lived thirty years of ordinary life.

• His first move in His ministry was to spend forty days in the wilderness.

• After Jesus rose again, He told His disciples to… wait. Wait for the Spirit to come.¹

  "The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord" Lamentations 3:25-26

  "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
  Psalm 27:14

Happiness?

We drift through life perpetually seeking happiness in the next milestone: the graduation, the spouse, or the house. The weekend, the vacation, or the party. The promotion, the beginning of a family, or retirement. We are never where we really are, constantly believing the next thing will satisfy. Inevitably, we are consistently let down.

We’ve been sold a lie. Below our conscious, we think that accumulation and accolades will bandage our broken souls.

It never does. It never can.

These things weren’t meant to satisfy our eternal longings. They were meant to point us to the One who can.

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Where True Happiness is Found

Enjoy your Amazon, but be aware that the world is telling a counter-gospel story that doesn’t satisfy. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.² The promise of an abundant life found in this world leads to unmet expectations and disaster. The world can never satisfy. I know you know that, intellectually. But do you act like it?

Jesus is the only One who can satisfy. He came and promised an abundant life.³ He announced the good news that the in breaking of the Kingdom of God was at hand.⁴ Eternal Life was within reach, it was in Him.⁵

The truth is the good life is available to all and now. But it doesn’t come in a gift card, promotion, or award. It is in a Person, His name is Jesus.

The good life truly satisfies. But it isn’t found in an instant but in a lifetime of following the King of the True Kingdom. It’s less a destination and more a journey. It is through death to self, that true life is found.⁶ It is in the giving away of ourselves that we find our true selves.⁷ Unless we die, we cannot live.⁸

Jesus will meet your truest expectations. He will exceed them. What you didn’t know you wanted, but needed, is found in Him. He calls out to you: “Happiness is found in me. Abundance and satisfaction are in me. Eternal pleasures are at my right hand. Follow me.”

Do you believe Him?

What to do

1. Identify where you seek happiness.

Where do you turn when you’re exhausted? How do you spend your time and money? What most frustrates you when it is threatened or taken away?

We all go somewhere for fulfillment, figure out where that place is for you.

2. Call out the lie for what it is.

Once you identify where you go, call out the deception for what it is. For example:

“It is a lie that I will find instant happiness inside Amazon’s ecosystem. The truth is that true joy isn’t found in an instant but in a Person. Only Jesus can fulfill my deepest longings.'“

Lies only have as much power as we give them. We give them power by keeping them subconscious, subtly believing and living by them. Calling them out and proclaiming the truth robs the lies of this power.

3. Praise the Giver of the gifts

God is the Giver of good gifts. Gift cards are not evil. But there is a subversive lie that seeks to influence us towards trusting the things of this world to bring us the good life.

The good life is found in God — and He gives good gifts. Don’t get the two twisted. Each worldly possession, accolade, or accomplishment is an opportunity to praise the one who gives them.

When correctly ordered, the good things of the world are but a sign post that points to the Source. In Him is fulfillment and a joy that never fades.

4. Seek First His Kingdom

Only One is faithful and trustworthy to hold the weight of our expectations. Only One can truly satisfy. Only One can provide eternal joy. Searching elsewhere is a lost cause. It leads to hurt and unmet expectations.

One promises abundant life and can back up His promise. His name is Jesus.

Seek satisfaction in Him, the only place it can be found. I leave you with Jesus’ central theme from the Sermon on the mount:

“But I tell you seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”⁹

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1. Acts 1:4

2. John 10:10

3. John 10:10

4. Mark 1:15

5. John 17:3

6. Matthew 16:24

7. Matthew 16:25

8. John 12:24

9. Matthew 6:33